Jeremy Licksalot and Catherine Mattedfurr

lick

Let the grooming begin.

“Jeremy Licksalot had always been used to the heat. Since he was just a small kitten, he’d spent so much time meowing in the heat of Meowstralia. All the Meowaroos and Moewalas were used to it too. It was part of how they lived. The scorching heat would bake the meowscape into submission all day long, and the residence of Meowstralia would learn to meow with it. Birds would sing “chiv” and the Meowtrees would sway in time to the blistering sun rays. It could be compared to a running fan forced meowven cooking the country until it was meowercooked.

Catherine Mattedfurr was not so lucky. She wasn’t a native of Meowstralia – She was used to the cold, shimmering drifts of Meowussia. But, she was in this oven… Scorching, overmeowting. Jeremy Licksalot knew he had to do something fast to prevent Catherine from descending into heat driven madness or worse.┬áHe thought long and hard about the actions he could meow, the tactics he could plan, but it all came down to one resolution. Jeremy Licksalot blinked…

Jeremy Licksalot’s coarse, grainy tongue scrapped over Catherine’s furr. Catherine’s furr suddenly became a meowzone of various matted and clumped sections of hair in wake of the tongue onslaught. She hadn’t even begun to realise the coarse meowndpaper like weapon of licking destruction rampaging it’s way through her fine, soft furr. It was a meowssacre.”

Vance Von Ruffles and the Presidential Candidacy

Vance Von Ruffles at his recent meowerism speech.

Vance Von Ruffles at his recent meowerism speech.

“Vance Von Ruffles did not have an easy job. It was never easy, having such responsibility on his shoulders. All the Kittens of the Meownited Meows relied on his decisions. Vance Von Ruffles looked out over the assembled mass of fur in front of him with a heavy and difficult heart. They didn’t know about the current Meowconomic situation the country was facing, nor were they aware of the rise in fur-ball related crime in the eastern suburbs of MeowTown. All they knew was what they had come to hear, a new presidential decree by Mr. Ruffles to save meowerourism in the Beach related towns…

Vance Von Ruffles licked his paw, and then the sheet of paper in front of him. The coarse surface of his tongue scrapped against the paper as his thoughts soon faded about the problems of MeowTown and Beaches, and instead found himself distracted by the paper.

As the entire of the Meowted Meows listened and watched, Vance Von Ruffles began his speech. “Meeeeeoooooooowwwwww” *Sound of paper tearing*

Max Pawson the Business cat

Max Pawson on vacation in his living room

Max Pawson on vacation in his living room

“Max Pawson hurriedly toed his way to his table in the lightly coloured and clean office. he was running late this morning. he had poured himself too much milk this morning and almost couldn’t make it to his meowmobile. he put is pawcase on the table and straitened his fur before quickly making is way to the meowing room, where the meowting was already in session. after letting himself in and dealing with the awkward silence of all the other meownagers looking at him, he jumped up into his chair and sat patiently for the meowting to continue.

‘meow that we are all here, meowe should begin!’ and at that point, the entire room erupted into a tornado of meowing and displaced fur. discussions were held for 8 hours that day, and the only conclusion that was made is that Joel Scruffles has the longest hair, Danica Meowerson meows far louder than any other meownager and that Max was forgiven for being late”

Timmy Pawsmighty and Alice Fluffyears

Judgemental Kittens

Alice Fluffyears and Timmy Pawsmighty sitting on a roadside in Meowland, somewhere in Meowurope.

“The road was empty. green emanated from the surrounds around the road. Two furry figures sat perched in the middle, focused on something in the Distance.

Timmy Pawsmighty and Alice Fluffyears looked on in silence. a commotion could be heard in the distance. The silence between them broke. “Look at them!” he meowed, a taste of displeasure on his words. “Meoey think they are so meowpular!”. Other kittens in the distance discussed paw boots, fur shampoos and whisker treatments in a nearby meowcatplace.

For the first time Alice Fluffyears spoke. “Meoell, it doesn’t matter. Meow we should judge them.” And they did. Two balls of fur sat on the roadside in silence, judging the other kittens as they paraded around. And that, is Meowdgement.

Alice Soremittens the comfort seeker

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Alice Soremittens gets comfortable

Alice Soremittens Collapsed on the bed. It’d been too long since she got to do so without the stress an anxiety of working meow-time. She’d just finished a shift, and had walked herself home. The last shift of meork was meowausting, and very busy. There were lots of things to do, even on the last day of work. Alice had worked as a meowtent writer, meowing content for all sorts of meowsites on the meowernet. She did exceptionally at this job, but sometimes to pressure of other kitten’s paws would interfere with her work, and she didn’t like this.

But no more! no more meowteruptions, and no more meownnoying meows when she was trying to write. She hoped her friend, Meowrina, wouldn’t eat her pawsome biscuits that she’d been working for.

Her whiskers twitched as the fluffy blanket slowly pulled her further and further down into it. What a great day it was. Forgetting about the past, and the future, she lay there, immobile. unable to even get up for a meoeach or a meoapple. She remembered that she had a meowboard from her job, laying beside her. She struggled to think about it’s next use. All she could think about is the soft, fluffy blankets pulling her into their embrace. She purred softly… “this is… Meowfect.”

Mittens Khlebyagoda and the Tiresome Saga

Mittens Khlebyagoda

Mittens Khlebyagoda Asleep on the Keyboard.

Mittens Khlebyagoda purred softly. A bright light emanated from outside the room. Outside birds sang, flew and chirped happily in the evening light. The waves lapped softly onto the golden crisp sand on the beach nearby, fish and dolphins gracefully gliding through the water like they were hot utensils being used on butter.

Mittens opened his mouth in the most precarious way… in seemed uncontrolled, and after a few seconds it closed again. The yawn made his whiskers twitch against the keyboard, and made Mittens’ lungs exhale softly. There had been a long day at work, and finally it was time to sign out. The phone beside Mittens hadn’t rung for maybe an hour… at one point, he’d given it a decisive nudge with his small paw, to make sure it was still connected. All day, there had been calls, and all day, the computer had been on, reciting endless streams of information and blurting out endless sounds that would drive any normal person insane with their repetition.

But now it was over. Everything was quiet. All that could be heard was the quiet humming of the computer, and the soft breathing of an exhausted Mittens. No beeps, or boops, or ringing. Finally.